I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize