grandma shit on top of the toilet
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
