we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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