Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
