Where did you get a picture of my penis
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
