I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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