It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
