Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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