what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
