Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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