i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
