I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
