Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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