Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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