Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
