Swine flu. Run for my life!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
