Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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