How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
