if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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