So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
