And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
