I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
