I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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