Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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