Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
