We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
