i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
im on a boat
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