You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
