Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
