Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
