why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize