I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
