Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
