I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
