I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
