Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
