I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
