it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
as a side note pls kill me
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
