I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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