Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think a kid would responsible me up
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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