did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Randomize
