Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
