I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
