I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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