i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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