$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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