So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I am midnight drunk by noon
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
