I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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