you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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