So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i out mim tonsoeep
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