paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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