Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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