That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize