Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Buhtt sex?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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