I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
he had hair everywhere except his balls
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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