I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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