Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
