I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
