yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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