This is not my ceiling
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
